Rule Lawyer

(Manualis rulis melifus, aka: Greater DM Annoyer)

A very common breed of role-player with habits that have been assumed that they grow out of, recent studies have shown that the 'Rule Lawyer' becomes harder to spot pregame as they progress to adulthood. This is due to the fact that the absorption of rules becomes easier and DM's ask less and less for clarification, because of this the 'Rule Lawyer' loses its primary identifying mark, the large bag of books once reaching adulthood. Once in adulthood the only way to spot a 'Rule Lawyer' is once they have started gaming and by this time the habit of 'Rule Quoting' will almost be impossible to eradicate.

The'Rule Lawyer' is easy to spot before adulthood, tell tale signs include walking with one shoulder dipped, this is through RMA (Repetitive Manual Abuse) an unyet medically recognised form of RSA. RMA is caused from the weight of the bag of rule books required in 'Rule Lawyers' infancy to clarify and backup rule quotes during a gaming session. Though they lose the bag once progressing to adulthood RMA still remains evident and is the only way of identifying a potential 'Rule Lawyer' pre-game. The only other way of spotting this people is the through envy in the face every time they see the DM outside of games. This is because most 'Rule Lawyer's aspire to being accepted DMs. Often telling of impossible traps, adventure lines and well hard NPC's. Only 2% make it as an 'Accepted DM' with another 50% only making it as a 'Failed DM'.

The 'Rule Lawyer' is a predator by nature and will stalk its fellow role-players and DM waiting for the fatal moment when its prey either misquote, the DM's lenient, the DM bends the rules (sometimes required apart of leniency or plot guiding) or 'Rule Lawyer’ feels threatened. This nature can be more evident when an 'Encyclopædia of Rule Lawyers' are gaming with fierce contests of Rule Prowess and challenges of obscure rulings. Unusually for a highly intelligent, the 'Rule Lawyer' suffers from 'Spasmodic Memory Lapses', this mainly goes unnoticed during gaming sessions as it only occurs when a ruling would be against the 'Rule Lawyer', the only time this will be picked up on is when another 'Rule Lawyer' is present.

The 'Rule Lawyer' is persistent in its attempts to requote the misquote, rebuffs, killing character, inflicting pain and shouting abuse at them is not enough. Once rebuffed they return with a vengeance often having consulted and reread their collection of rules manuals or called a meeting of their local 'Encyclopædia'. Revenge usually takes the form of boring everyone to death with the mechanics for why the rule exists, harassing the DM until they fold for a quiet life or stepping up their vigil on misquotes by adding incorrect phrasing of rules. Unfortunately the 'Rule Lawyer' is not bordering on extinction, in fact their species is increasing. Our only saving grace is that to become a 'Rule Lawyer' is getting more expensive with the increase of gaming aids available.

The best ways to protect yourself against these is not easy but here are some tips.

  1. DM: Always read your manuals and keep up to date with rule book releases, if releases are regular then join or form a 'Plot of DMs' and spread the cost.

  2. DM: Bluff the 'Rule Lawyer' by insisting that an ancient article which you only ever had a photocopy of but have now lost, quoted the rule not applying to this situation. This one often sends the 'Rule Lawyer' into a frenzy of Rule Reading and can often be kept at bay for months.

  3. DM: Once 2 has failed or the 'Rule Lawyer' tells you the article doesn't exist because it is not in his collection (Only young 'Rule Lawyers' will admit this) quote a non-existent magazine/fanzine. This is in most cases enough to silence the 'Rule Lawyer', often they yielding to superior rule knowledge and resources.

  4. Player: Slip in the odd mistake, this will bring the 'Rule Lawyer' out of hiding. Once identified, their character can be placed at the front of the party often resulting in the most dangerous position. If the DM is quick they will strike swiftly rending the 'Rule Lawyer' useless without a character.

  5. Once Plan 4 completed, DM moves into gear by declaring that the adventure is at the stage where no new characters can be introduced.

Sub Classes:

‘Hi-Tech Rule Lawyer’(Computis Manualis Minimalis)

Has transferred all available manuals to electronic format and carries a laptop computer to game sessions. This form of Lawyer is easier to distract, just complement on his computer. Physically faster than the Rule Lawyer but mentally slower as they have become to rely heavily on their technology.

See Also:

‘Accepted DM’

Easily confused for rule lawyer when playing a game in face of another Accepted DM.


FRP Home
By Bob Coffey for FRP News.